


Too Too Solid Flesh

by fififolle



Category: Primeval
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Bedroom Sex, British Military, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Gay Bar, Introspection, Kissing, Lying About Age, M/M, Naked Cuddling, One Night Stands, Pre-Canon, Sex, Stranger Sex, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Whiskey & Scotch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:43:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fififolle/pseuds/fififolle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan picks someone up in a club when he's on leave. Pre-canon AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Too Solid Flesh

**Author's Note:**

> Connor is nearly 18, I think that is underage enough... I've tagged it underage since when this fic is set, 1999, the minimum age of homosexual consent in the UK was 18, and there was a ban on homosexuality in the British army at the time.

~

The lights in the club were too bright, the music was too loud. Just for a moment, Tom Ryan could hear the whump-whump-whump of helicopter blades, and squeezed his eyes shut against the strobe light that stung like the flash of a stun grenade. He shook his head and pushed his way to the end of the bar.

He was here to _forget_ , not to remember.

The girl behind the bar stared at him for a moment, in anticipation. If there had been anyone else waiting to be served, she would have just turned away, rolling her eyes. Ryan snapped back to reality. 

“Whisky. Double. Please.”

Without a word, she grabbed a glass and let the amber liquid drain from the selected bottle through the measuring spout, then she flicked it back upright and then poured again. The glass was slapped down in front of him, and he handed over the note. He tucked away the change and picked up his glass, turning around to lean against the bar and take in the scene.

The guys on the dance floor were moving in ways that Ryan hadn't seen in a few months. His jeans felt a little tight. He sipped his drink and enjoyed the distraction of the burn. One guy caught his eye - a tall, muscular bloke gyrating his pelvis suggestively. He winked at Ryan.

Ryan felt a moment of panic mixed with thrill. Christ, the sense of utter freedom to be here, to know that he could touch another man, fuck him, or be _fucked_ , was almost overwhelming, as it always was. Then some other guy ground his crotch up against the big bloke, and Ryan winced. The other man bore a striking resemblance to one of the sergeants, and the stark reminder of Ryan's career choice and the effect it had on his sexuality hit home hard.

Why couldn't he just be free?

He turned back to the bar and hunched in on himself, downing the whisky in one and pushing the glass back to the girl for a refill.

It was then he noticed the lad at the end of the bar. Big dark eyes, terrified as fuck. He couldn't have been much more than 18. His shirt was new, too many buttons open, his jeans too tight. He reminded Ryan of the raw recruits, desperate bravado mixed with fear. Something like sympathy sparked in Ryan's chest. He'd been there. Wondering. Wanting to try to be who he was.

Ultimately failing.

“What's he having?” Ryan shouted at the girl, nodding his head towards the lad. She eyed him dismissively and poured another measure of whisky to match Ryan's, taking his money smoothly.

Ryan pushed the glass towards the young man. “Here. If you're not going to dance, you should at least drink.”

The lad's eyes widened, and he blinked at Ryan. “Thanks.” He took the glass, leaning back as Ryan moved closer, clutching the whisky but not drinking it.

“I don't bite,” Ryan murmured, too easily lying.

The young man swallowed nervously, and stared at the whisky. “I'm not...”

Ryan shrugged. “Doesn't matter. Not sure I'm in the right place either.”

The lad visibly relaxed, and took a wary sip of the alcohol. He looked like he'd tasted battery acid, and Ryan laughed. The lad looked embarrassed, and his face flushed pink. Ryan smiled. The lad was cute. Floppy dark hair, innocent expressions. Too young, too young. 

“I'm Tom.” He positioned his hand to shake the lad's.

“Connor,” the lad said as he shook hands, almost too quiet for Ryan to hear over the thump of the music. His hand felt warm and smooth. The young man's eyes widened as they finally roamed over Ryan, lingering on his shoulders and crotch. He blinked, and drank more whisky.

Ryan wanted to take him home and touch Connor until he shook and cried.

He hated himself for thinking that. It was as if being in the army took away any normality of relationship, and all he was left with was the desire to ruin himself, and anyone he could find, with sex that was too fast, too hard, too dirty. Because it was the only way to get it.

Could he really do that to this lad? He finished his drink, and slapped the glass down hard, then carefully slid his hand around Connor's jaw. The lad's face fitted in his palm. Slowly, he leaned in, and drew him into an open, wet kiss that left Ryan hard. He breathed deep. Fuck, he wanted this too much.

“Connor. I want to take you home and fuck you. Protected, yeah? I won't hurt you, and I won't want to see you again. You can stay the night, but that's it. If you're up for a fuck tonight, you can come with me.”

Connor hesitated, and if Ryan's kind of offer was the exact reason he'd come to the club tonight, he didn't look like it. But he nodded his head. “Okay.”

Ryan slid his arms around the lad, and _Christ_ he was skinny, but he fitted against him too perfectly as Ryan kissed him again, and felt the answering hardness against his. For a skinny guy, Connor felt like he had impressive tackle, and Ryan suddenly couldn't wait any longer.

“Okay, let's go,” he growled, and held Connor's hand and pulled him towards the door.

The taxi ride felt too long, but it gave Ryan time to take a longer look at Connor's gangly body and inviting lips. The lad said he was a student, but seemed reluctant to give too many details. Fair enough. If Ryan had told the lad he was a 28-yr-old lieutenant in the Regiment, he'd probably have to kill him. Ryan was more than happy to keep it as anonymous as possible. He wasn't kidding when he said he'd never see Connor again.

It felt like a shame, already.

When they got inside Ryan's flat, made it to the bedroom, and Connor began to strip off his clothes, something in Ryan's chest caught again. _Shit,_ the lad was young. Acres of pale, smooth skin that screamed virgin. But Connor had a fire in his eyes. There was a shy smile on his lips as he put his hands on naked Ryan's waist.

But then Connor saw the reluctance in Ryan's eyes. “Tom?”

“Are you sure about this?” Ryan blurted out. _Christ,_ there was no way that arse had been fucked before. He hadn't lied about one thing - he didn't want to hurt the guy. 

He'd seen too much hurt. Things he'd seen last week in Kosovo would stay with him forever, for one thing.

Connor looked crushed, and he tried to pull away. “If you don't want to, it's okay. I know I...”

Ryan grabbed him, pulled him back to where it felt good. “I do. Fuck, I really do. But you're...”

Connor kissed him. When Ryan opened his eyes, Connor smiled. “Take me, Tom. Please. Just... gently,” he added, almost a whisper. “I need -”

It was all the invitation Ryan needed. He laid Connor on the bed and began to kiss his way down the lad's body. He licked at the perfect nipples, nipped the sensitive skin of his stomach, smoothed gun-calloused hands over creamy thighs covered in soft, dark hair.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he murmured, and nudged Connor's thighs open with his face, grinning as Connor's whole body trembled and the lad moaned filthily when Ryan licked a stripe up his hard, leaking cock.

“Fuck, I... Shit.” Connor sounded wrecked already.

Ryan eased off on the sexual onslaught, took a moment to kneel back and breathe, and let Connor get his body under control. Christ, he was close himself, just looking at the lad lying there, begging for it with his eyes, if not his mouth. And fuck, that mouth. He very much hoped to, later, if the lad would let him.

Ryan stroked his cock and licked his lips, waiting until Connor opened his eyes. When he did, he was rewarded with a blinding smile that melted parts of Ryan's heart that he'd thought were gone. But Connor frowned.

“You've got lube, right? And a condom?”

Ryan snapped out of his reverie. “Of course. I just... You're ready?”

Connor nodded vigorously. “Please.” He spread his legs wider, but Ryan shook his head.

“On your side. Trust me.” He felt suddenly protective as he reached for the condom and lube. Like he was taking a new trooper on a live op, had to keep a close eye on them. Too young, too young.

“Tom,” Connor begged, again bringing Ryan back to reality. “I want this.”

Ryan slicked his fingers and touched Connor intimately. He'd wanted this once. He'd wanted a lot of things, over the years. He still held out hope that he might get some of them in the future, but right now, he would take this.

Connor cried out softly, squirming under Ryan's touch. Ryan stroked the young man's hip and pushed another finger in, slick and slide, rub, rub, too tight, just tight enough. 

“That's it, Connor. That's good, yeah?” Ryan's own cock was leaking now. He didn't always leak pre-come. Fuck, he wanted to bury himself in that body so much.

“Yes. Oh, yes. More, please,” Connor begged messily, sweat on his too pale skin.

Ryan leaned over him and kissed his arm, reaching around to feel Connor's cock half-hard again. It was better than nothing, and if he could bring the lad off with his cock deep inside him, they'd both be winners. “Relax. I won't hurt you.”

Connor, his face pillowed on his arm, nodded.

Ryan removed his fingers, hearing the whimper of disappointment. He grinned to himself. The lad would be okay. He lined up his sheathed, slick cock and pressed against Connor's hole. Connor groaned and relaxed. Ryan pushed inside, just a little way, shut his eyes against the fantastic sensation. Connor whimpered.

God, it felt good. Ryan pushed a little deeper, waiting for Connor to let him in. Ryan's body sang, as if it had been made for this moment. This was who he was.

“Okay, Connor?”

Connor panted, pushed back gently. “More,” he rasped.

Ryan slid his cock in and out and in a little more, and then he was fucking the lad, slowly, yes, but his cock was fucking him, deeper every time.

“Shit,” Connor moaned. “Oh yes.”

Ryan wanted to fuck him harder, but he could tell that Connor was right at his limit. He just kept up the pressure, his cock gripped tight by the almost-certainly virgin arse. He knew he should probably add a little more lube, but Connor was coping, and fuck, if it didn't feel good.

Ryan gripped Connor's arse cheeks and pushed them further apart, almost breathless at the perfection of that tight arse. He thrust harder, feeling his pleasure build impossibly. “Christ, you are a good fuck, Connor. You know that? Feels good. You're so fucking beautiful.”

Connor moaned, and his own hand curled around his cock, stripping it roughly. “Please, Tom. Please...” he whimpered, and Ryan knew the lad had no idea what he was asking for.

Ryan put more of his weight behind his downward thrusts into Connor's body, taking the lad harder than he had meant to. But he was so close, and god, he was enjoying this fuck. 

“You going to come for me? Come while I'm fucking your perfect arse?” 

Connor cried out, nearly convulsing under Ryan as he must have done exactly that, gasping and trembling, puddles of white come spattering the bedsheets near his milked cock.

Ryan thrust deep, buried himself in Connor's spasming arse, and let himself come, let his cock empty and his body rip through with ecstasy. “Fuck. Oh fuck, yes.”

He was sweating buckets. Fuck knew why, it's not like he wasn't used to extreme exertion on a daily basis. The room felt too hot. He pulled carefully out of the lad's body, soothing with hands and words as Connor whimpered. The reddened hole closed up cleanly, and Ryan breathed a sigh of relief.

When he found himself curling his body around the lad and cuddling up after he'd tossed the condom and used some tissues to make everything a little less sticky, well, what the hell, they both needed it.

“Okay?”

Connor stretched his body a little, hissing. He turned over and gave Ryan a tentative smile. “Yeah, okay.”

Ryan smiled back. “Good.”

Connor's eyes closed sleepily and he tucked his head against Ryan's shoulder. “Thank you,” he murmured. “That was amazing.”

Ryan's stomach lurched uncomfortably, and he just took a deep breath and slung his arm over the lad's chest. “Don't mention it.”

Ryan should have slept as well, but something kept him awake. Maybe he was getting too old for this shit. He really didn't know how much longer he could stay in the Regiment, and keep doing this every time he was on leave. How much longer could he keep his life in two halves?

He slipped out of bed when he was sure Connor wouldn't wake, and pulled on his boxers, then stared out of the window at the orange streetlights, down at the cars passing, people going places in the dark.

Ryan had always wanted to be in the army, but he'd always wanted men in his bed, too.

He turned to stare at Connor's sleeping form. He'd been like that once, wanting so badly and not knowing where to turn. This lad said he was a student at CMU. Did he know what he wanted from life? He seemed so young...

Ryan didn't mean to pry, but he pulled the wallet from the jeans that hung on the chair, and took out something that looked like ID. Ryan felt instantly sick. The ID was a CMU student card all right, but a decade in the Regiment had taught Ryan genuine from fake, and this was fake. There was only one reason anyone would fake a student card, and that was because they weren't as old as they said they were, and they wanted to drink alcohol and hang out in bars.

Maybe gay bars. Ryan closed his eyes and gripped his hand into a fist. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at Connor. Christ, he had to be 17. No younger, please, fuck. Ryan knew he had just broken the law, and he pleaded with unseen powers that no one would find out about this. Things might be changing, even in the army, but they weren't fucking there yet. He considered waking Connor up and confronting him about it, but held back his anger. What fucking good would it do?

He sat on the chair and put his head in his hands. How could he have been so stupid? He'd been too desperate, too ready to offer what was needed, instead of thinking it through.

But then, Connor must have been desperate too, to go to that place and risk sex with a stranger. Ryan remembered doing the same thing, long ago, just to prove to himself who he was. He felt that rush of protectiveness again, and his heart lurched as Connor moved in his sleep, his hand reaching for his missing bed partner.

Knowing he was insane, Ryan slipped back into bed and curled up around Connor, ignoring the spike of fear about his job and the law. Somehow, he knew he would be okay. Just for one night, someone had needed him. The _real_ him. And he'd liked it too much to pretend he didn't. And it was too late now, but he didn't think that Connor would ever tell anyone the truth. Besides, he would never see the lad again once tomorrow came. It would all be for the best, but it didn't stop him wishing life was different. 

Ryan kissed Connor's shoulder and held him closer. “It's okay,” he said quietly. “I understand.”

~


End file.
